I had an interview today and I hope they hire me. It might finally give me the chance to move out and be on my own again and just really start fresh, I hope. (Not that things are really that bad now but just sayin')

I really felt as though my own personal growth, progression and development was tremendously hindered if not completely broken down.

Woe is me but not completely, everything does take a toll on a person after awhile and they can grow either jaded or tired but I don't want to be either.

2,226 Uninsured Vets Died in 2008

2,226 Uninsured Vets Died in 2008

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This is sad. I hope the Public Option passes because it would really help the situation especially with the Baby Boomer generation retiring as well.

Anchor Lou Dobbs says he's leaving CNN immediately

Wow, this is news. He is one of the founding anchors of the news network.

"I will let you know when I set my course," he said. He said he wanted to "contribute positively to a better understanding of the great issues of our day."

"I'm the last of the original anchors here on CNN and I'm proud to have had the privilege of helping to built the world's first news network," he said.

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Sean Hannity Uses Glenn Beck's Protest Footage
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There have been all of these new improvements and renovations around my neck of the woods. In the area where I live.

New drinking fountains along one of the local cemeteries, a new public transportation line, internet cafes and electrical cables. It's pretty cool.

I really wished my laptop worked because sending out resumes, filling out my FAFSA and finishing my grad school app online is difficult without any of my personal documents uploaded onto the desktop of the library computer.

No working laptop/internet, no television, no car, no money. Geez, I was already kind of deprived and now I'm even more deprived while trying to do more things in my life than most people. What are people trying to do to me?

It's like they're forcing me to do things their way, like them, or do something that I don't naturally want to do.

You can't force people to do things they don't normally do. You can't a mold a person into the image that you want. You can't make someone into anything and you can't make/force them to like you by trying to make their life seemingly harder or worse in order to make them give into something.

Things happen naturally and no one should try and mess with another person's life or well-being.

You can't force or manipulate anything on anyone and then get mad and try to hurt or age them for resisting. Nothing normal ever works that way. It's illegal and unethical and nothing positive or progressive will ever be accomplished.

Things have been pretty weird, chaotic, negative and overly dramatic for me the last couple of months and maybe years that I've had to distance myself from most people a bit.

People in Los Angeles seem to make bigger deals over things that weren't a big deal at all during college. The people in Los Angeles are also more insecure, bitter, negative, hateful, spiteful, immature and dramatic than how things were elsewhere or maybe those are just the people I've met so far. I just want to meet some normal and mature people for once.

I don't get it and I don't really care to know why people are the way they are anymore or why they have been this way. I have to regain composure, go back to the peaceful mental state I was in back in Santa Barbara and live again.

My life had been sabotaged for a bit by a bunch of immature, bratty and hateful liars all because I wouldn't submit to or like them but you can't make someone like or submit to you. In fact, I feel like I've been completely violated, drained and I'm tired along with having some of my rights as a human being abused. But whatever, life goes on I guess.

My reputation, well-being and rights were completely violated and I felt like I couldn't just live and be my own person with a sense of free will, freedom of choice and own lifestyle.

A negative perception of me was created and perpetuated which is not who I am at all. Nothing I do has anything to do with anyone else but now I know the kinds of weird analyzations people can conjure up in their heads. Anyways, whatever. I don't care about most people anyways. It doesn't matter to me who you are (well maybe a little), what matters is who you are to me.

I also didn't appreciate people telling me things like give it up or something as if I was trying really hard for other people when I wasn't at all. Everything I do is for myself, I am very selfish but I can also be nice, giving and caring as well. People really have no place or say in my life at all. No, I'm not going to stop living, existing or being goal-oriented because that's who I am.

I don't appreciate people being negative, hateful or conceited towards me especially when I don't know them and they don't know me.

I'm sorry if you were dumb enough, conceited enough and/or was misled to believe a perception of me but it's not true and I don't even know why or how that image got perpetuated. Also, no need to be angry, negative or hateful at me after finding out the truth.

I feel pretty drained and tired from people either trying to make me like them or thinking that I did. I also feel pretty disgusted with some of the people I've met in Los Angeles. The only real person/priority in my life is myself. It's really hard for me to care/like someone else more than I care about or like myself.

I can care/like other people but never more than myself. I don't know how to do it.

I also didn't appreciate people trying to stop me from doing normal things and I don't even know why they did that. I miss Santa Barbara and the way things were. I don't know who these people were/are and I don't really care for them either because they're incredibly/disgustingly rude and negative. I don't understand people and their wicked ways.

Also, why is it when other people go on hikes, walks or jogs it's not a big deal at all but when I do it, it's this huge deal. How does that make sense? How am I different from others and why does a perfectly normal, positive and healthy activity interpret into something else?

Nothing was ever this weird or complicated during college. I don't understand.

I also realized that most people aren't normally nice I guess so my kindness gets mistaken for weakness, blown out of proportion and people can become negatively controlling.

A lot of people lie and their lies affect/effect the lives of others tremendously. All of this could've given me heart/kidney failure.

You can't make someone like you and you can't send other people to attack that person for not liking you either. That's insane.

People have tried to recreate scenarios from my past, age me and/or make me depressed by completely breaking me down just to turn me into this emotionally dependent person in order to make me needy or like them but you can't just make a person like you.

I've been completely terrorized, abused and victimized by immature/stupid people who just need attention.

I don't know why things haven't been so normal. I don't know why people have to be so negative/hateful towards me just because they need attention. I don't umderstand people and their manipulative games. It's pointless and stupid to be like that anyways.

However, I am glad that it seems like it's calmed down.

I am the world's greatest victim. Wow.

Someone once told me that I have a tendency to extrapolate whatever recent experiences I've had onto the external world which probably doesn't have anything to do with whatever just happened to me. Ya, probably.

Okay, so I'm a little weird. So what? Who isn't?

And anyways, no one is perfect and I've experienced a lot but that doesn't mean I'm completely insane or not sane enough to live.

You live and you learn.

My Story Lives: Don't Worry, Be Happy...or at least, Calm

My Story Lives: Don't Worry, Be Happy...or at least, Calm


Aww. ;)

The people I had met in Los Angeles so far had been pretty apathetic towards political and/or current issues which had deterred me from socializing for a bit, not to mention the amount of negativity I was getting for whatever reason.

It's generally a pretty supercial and shallow city, hence the entertainment industry but there are a good amount of people who actually care about other things as well.

I was talking to someone I had met last night and we were comparing cities such as San Francisco, Los Angeles and New York. I really respected and and admired San Francisco when I had visited the Bay Area the times I did. I also really liked New York but I wasn't really there for very long. Los Angeles has a different dynamic to it that can be very fun and enjoyable but it lacks the amount of depth and substance that I had found in other cities.

I don't know, it's been weird but not completely bad. These are just my initial encounters since being back.